I hate that "philosophy" is more important than educating my child.
I hate that while it is supposed to be an INDIVIDUAL education plan, the only thing that is individual is her goals.
I hate that no one WANTS to think outside the box.
I hate that if your child is beyond 0-4, you can't get good services for spoken language.
I hate that I feel like I will be disappointing my Deaf friends if Miss Kat goes to the oral class.
I hate that we don't have professionals who want a bilingual-bimodal child.
I hate that now that she is learning spoken language everyone think that we should stop ASL.
I hate that Deaf people have taught me that oral is a dirty word.
I hate that I have to deal with Miss Kat learning to read on top of all this other garbage.
I hate that I can't see the future, and know what she would want.
I hate that I live in constant fear of making the wrong choice.
I hate that I believe that there really is one right choice and one wrong.
I hate that I am afraid that of Miss Kat changes schools, she will lose all her Deaf friends.
I hate that I am afraid that my own daughter will hate and resent me when she grows up.
Why do I have to live in all this fear? Why can't my daughter be Deaf AND hear? Why can't she grow up with BOTH? Why can't we emphasis one language sometimes, and the other at other times?
You know what? We can. Yes, right now there is a short window of opportunity for Miss Kat to get the greatest benefit from her CI. We need to place her with professionals that understand and can facilitate spoken language development in a deaf child with a CI. We have been EXTREMELY focused on ASL for the last 5 years, but our focus is going to need to change, in the short term. But, I REFUSE to be bullied about it. I know my daughter, and I know that this is in her best interest. I know that there is going to be some "discomfort" with this choice in our Deaf community, but Miss Kat is still Deaf, and she will still need her community. I hope that people will not punish Miss Kat for our choices. We love the Deaf Community, and the wonderful people we have met in it.
We are not choosing to "ban" ASL, or trying to make Miss Kat "hearing". We are giving her the opportunity to work on the other language. She will forever sign, and so will we, but it looks like, this fall, Miss Kat will be heading to the oral class.